Where did the years go?

Hello world,

Yesterday I attended my daughter’s 8th grade graduation. What a feeling! It’s so amazing to see these young children grown and develop into vigorous and aspiring young adults. I remember when my daughter and her friends used to run around the house happy as a lark, watching “Dexter’s Laboratory”, or “CatDog,” eating their hot dogs, trading their Yugioh Cards, and playing Super-Mario without a care in the world.

Today they are skyping with their friends, texting 24/7, hooked on XBox 360, worried about what clothes to wear, thinking they are in love (I just remembered the horse track TV commercial, “run baby, run!”), aware of the importance of GPA & SAT scores to get into a good college, aspiring MIT, Duke, and Harvard, taking honors and AP classes, feeling the pressure, and planning on getting their driver’s license permit. Wow!

As I saw them all dressed up in their suits, elaborate dresses, & high heels, receiving their awards, and making deep speeches concerning the future, I was incredibly proud and could feel a whole sense of accomplishment fill up the auditorium. What a memorable night it was! I was also thinking I needed to pay a visit to a dermatologist, find myself some serious hair stylist, and double check if Pitanguy still around. Where did the years go?

XOXOXO,
Cheers!

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May 25th - It’s been 150 days without you!

It’s been five months without you mom... No more phone calls, no more pouring out my frustrations or celebrating good moments, getting advice, cracking up jokes, laughing, telling stories, and no more anticipating the moment of arrival to give you that big hug... I wonder if things would’ve been different if I never left, or if they had allowed you to come and see me. It’s all too late now, isn't it?… Forgive me for not being there, mom. I've been lost without you. There's no one to really talk to anymore, and I miss you deeply!
Eu amo você, mãe!
Tá difícil...

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It's Sunday... Saudade mata a gente!

It's Sunday! Way back in the day Sunday used to be an amazing day, a sort of family and friend's day. You knew that either you would be going to someone's house, or your house would be full of people. It was a day to have a special lunch, or a barbecue with your buddies, conversation, music, fresh flowers, or perhaps a major trip to the beach with the whole entourage, where half the kitchen would be packed in the trunk of the car… LOL! Yes, because there was no such thing as going home after two hours or so. It was a whole day affair. I miss those days...

Today I have the newest TV, a car where my kids can watch movies and plug their video games in case they run out of charge, a Coach purse (that you better believe I didn't pay full price for), the alleged opportunity to make loads of money (although I'm still broke), a set of amenities for my children (who have no idea what it means to actually play outside, and cannot conceive the thought of any fun that doesn't involve some kind of electronic device), and accomplished academic college degree on the wall. I think you got the examples and you know where I'm going with this. Yet, I'm constantly worried about money, there's no music playing, no family coming over (in fact I missed a great deal of their lives because I wasn't around, and today some of them are already DEAD - the word deceased doesn't do justice), less than a hand full of real friends, and no special lunch or barbecue going on today... But hey, I bought fresh flowers!

Do I dislike where I've been living for the past 20 years? Absolutely not. I love it! I love the efficiency, the power of purchase, the opportunities, the beach... It's not about that. It's not about hearing the infamous, "go back to your country" overrated line. I can care less about idiotic and ignorant people oblivious about the history of their "own country." It's about choices we make, it's about recognizing that we cannot have it all (unless you win the lottery), it's about weighing pros and cons and making decisions, it's about balance, it's about venting and expressing feelings (I haven't signed up for the psychiatry "Pill Popper Club" yet, so I have to deal with reality), it's about reminiscing over a time when things were so much simpler, when caring & loving & being myself was all I needed; when spontaneity, and genuine hugs were part of my day (note, I said genuine). It's about acceptance and sense of humor…

Ohhhh well... I better put a sock in it... I guess I had my fix for today. I believe I saved $150 in therapy fees.
It's Sunday and life is not so bad after all.

XOXOXO,
Cheers!

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May 3rd :(

There was a time when May 3rd was a much anticipated day. I couldn’t wait for my birthday cake, friends, family, music, and hours of good old human warmth, and family fun. Today, as I sit here, all that I can do is cry… I never felt so alone. Happy Birthday to me! I miss you mom :(

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Those darned immigrants... By Cranky Bloggers.

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Wake up people! The opposite of love is not hate... By Cranky Bloggers

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